The very last thing I want to be asked or think about is my tumor. However, the only thing I seem to think of or want to talk about is my tumor. Saying "my tumor" is odd. Why do I own a tumor? I don't need or want it. Maybe referring to it as "it" and "the tumor" is more apropos.
It's been a week now and I feel like it has taken over my life in large and subtle ways. Hard to make plans when I don't what's going on, where it's going on or for how long.
I'm not sure if it's hereditary, but my dad at times can have the symptoms of a hypochondriac. Now those hypochondriac tendencies seem to creep up on me here and there now with my left leg.
As I write Myrtle is under my legs, crawling around and trying to reach and grab anything, just going after all she wants. I admire her, that focus and determination to just go for it and be in the moment. She has fallen down, banged her head, slipped in the tub, suffered scrapes and bruises but she soldiers on with a smile. I love that girl.
Why do bad things happen? I don't quite know why this has happened.
Like most people at one time years ago, I was heartbroken. I thought it was the worst day of my life, well, it was. After Myrtle was born I realized the worst day of my life was actually the best day as it lead me down a path to Myrtle.
Perhaps there's something for me to learn from "it", something for my family and friends.
While writing this I received an email from a friend informing me that our friend Jean-Marie Belliveau passed away due to injuries sustained from a car accident yesterday. Jean was a friendly, happy husband, father and a cancer survivor. My thoughts and prayers are with his family.
I pray for the best, that the tumor is benign and that my treatment will be swift and effective that I may live a long life and reach my potential as a father and share with Myrtle how she inspired me, her daddy.
|only looks posed, Myrtle likes hanging out with me ...really|