The very last thing I want to be asked or think about is my tumor. However, the only thing I seem to think of or want to talk about is my tumor. Saying "my tumor" is odd. Why do I own a tumor? I don't need or want it. Maybe referring to it as "it" and "the tumor" is more apropos.
It's been a week now and I feel like it has taken over my life in large and subtle ways. Hard to make plans when I don't what's going on, where it's going on or for how long.
I'm not sure if it's hereditary, but my dad at times can have the symptoms of a hypochondriac. Now those hypochondriac tendencies seem to creep up on me here and there now with my left leg.
As I write Myrtle is under my legs, crawling around and trying to reach and grab anything, just going after all she wants. I admire her, that focus and determination to just go for it and be in the moment. She has fallen down, banged her head, slipped in the tub, suffered scrapes and bruises but she soldiers on with a smile. I love that girl.
Why do bad things happen? I don't quite know why this has happened.
Like most people at one time years ago, I was heartbroken. I thought it was the worst day of my life, well, it was. After Myrtle was born I realized the worst day of my life was actually the best day as it lead me down a path to Myrtle.
Perhaps there's something for me to learn from "it", something for my family and friends.
While writing this I received an email from a friend informing me that our friend Jean-Marie Belliveau passed away due to injuries sustained from a car accident yesterday. Jean was a friendly, happy husband, father and a cancer survivor. My thoughts and prayers are with his family.
I pray for the best, that the tumor is benign and that my treatment will be swift and effective that I may live a long life and reach my potential as a father and share with Myrtle how she inspired me, her daddy.
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| only looks posed, Myrtle likes hanging out with me ...really |
to be honest i keep thinking about your tumor or should i say "the" tumor.....it's like "the" tumor is "our" tumor. Almost feel guilty when i realize something else occupies my mind and I wasn't thinking about "it". Cute picture of Myrtle! she sounds like fun....can't wait to see her in a couple weeks.
ReplyDeleteRuban I admire your positive outlook. Isn't it incredible what a difference a child can have on your entire worldly perspective?!
ReplyDeleteDid you roll up the rim to win !? Like you said it's only been a week, it's understandable this is all very fresh and at the forefront of your mind. Writing things down I think helps put things in perspective. thank you for updating when you are getting the biopsy. The Weepies song was cute and fun :)
ReplyDelete@jasonWell Jason I think you summed it up. My burden, your burden is our burden. As brothers and friends, we share to lift the load. I can't do this alone.
ReplyDelete@CarrieChildren sure have that effect! It's a whole new world for them and for their parents. I had no idea how much I was missing before Myrtle.
ReplyDelete@RyanI rolled up the rim to "Please Play Again". Writing has been therapeutic indeed. It's clarifies emotions and I find it encouraging that anyone cares. I also look forward to having nothing to blog about! Till then stay tuned...
ReplyDeletethere are times in our lives that when certain things happen we may wonder how the world keeps spinning, how do people just go on like nothing has changed, when our world has changed. The world does go on but our perspective has changed. Thank Heavenly Father for the loves in our lives that help to support and encourage us along the way.
ReplyDeleteWe pray for you everyday and thank-you for the updates. I love reading your blog, I don't love you having a tumor but I love your insights and jokes. I saw jersey shore pajamas at wal-mart yesterday and for a split second actually considered buying them as a joke to surprise mori with. Good luck on the 21st.
ReplyDelete@Janice Thank you Jan, AKA my other mother, your encouragement is sure needed!
ReplyDelete@Kickbush Family That would be quite the situation to surprise Mori with. Keep those prayers coming!
ReplyDeleteI love reading about how your family is such a positive motivator in your life. We are so excited to have a little "myrtle" or "eric jr." to be able to help us get through tough times as well. We admire and love you guys so much!
ReplyDelete@Rachel WattersThanks Rach for your kind words!
ReplyDeleteHey Rubes,
ReplyDeleteI pray everyday for you and your family..all of them. I admire you for the positive thoughts you share, especially when you could maybe easily share others.
I bumped my head the other day(soo annoying), but I really didn't care...it wasn't that big of deal.
Thanks for helping us all realize whats important. It makes a difference to my family.