Monday, March 28, 2011

Revised - Spaghetti Dinner is Waiting. Biopsy Results.

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Whoa! I reread my rushed blog entry on my Blackberry while waiting at the ferry terminal and was slightly embarrassed by my writing, but much more amazed that anyone could decipher a thing.  It's been a long emotional day and it's now 1:40am, so I doubt that my revision will be too much better. Than again, it can't be too much worse.

Here it goes:

Since I have a spaghetti dinner waiting for me that my sister-in-law Colleen and my niece Kathryn made  I'll write something short.

I'm sure a lucky guy to have anyone care about what's going on. Best of all is having Myrtle just happy to see me.

My folks, my brother Jason, Faith and Myrtle came with me today for the biopsy results. Just Faith and Myrtle waited in the office with me. Dr. Clarkson, the oncologist and the resident doctor from before came in and sat down, looked serious and somber and said I do not have osteosarcoma and the tumor is not just a benign giant tumor cell.

I have a blood cancer called plasmacytoma OR multiple myeloma. From what I understand the plasmacytoma brought on the tumor. If one has multiple tumors than its multiple myeloma. My doctor said the survival is good with plasmacytoma and with multiple myeloma not so good. I was told I'll be doing a few more biopsies and will know what I have exactly and the recovery plan in "about" the next two weeks.

So there it is. Spaghetti is best served warm.

Okay, I revised the above. Still not Shakespeare, but as good as it going to get.

Dion, my oldest brother just called and I told him that I was revising my blog. Jokingly I said "I don't want to ruin anyones day with a blog about cancer that's rife with errors." He joined in by saying "You don't want people thinking 'Gee, not only does he have cancer, but he can't spell or use proper grammar'."

Sunday night after all went to sleep I browsed the internet just tiring myself out so I wouldn't toss and turn in bed.

Monday morning was similar. My parents came to J & Colleens and we all talked about nothing. Maybe there was topics we were talking about, but I don't recall a single one. Other than a delicious meatloaf sandwich and knowing I had family around all I remember was trying to not think about my 2:45pm appoint at the cancer clinic.

When I checked in they asked me to go get my blood checked. That was my first clue something was up.

My second clue was when the nurse who took my blood sample asked me when I was diagnosed. I thought maybe she just assumed, I was at a cancer clinic after all.
After that we went into the doctor's office and waited for somewhere between 5 minutes and 5 hours. I don't know how long, close to forever I'm sure.  To kill time we opened all the cupboards doors and drawers and gave Myrtle some tongue depressors to play with.
After that she tried a little walking with the doctors stool on wheels, she'll be walking before long.

Soon after the doctor came in and gave the news. It was right to have Faith and Myrtle there, our conversation though is not for me to write about here. I will say though that this is a new chapter for our marriage, for our family and I look forward to our future.

After the doctor left my parents and Jason came in. I shared with them the diagnosis. After it sunk in my father gave me the most heartfelt caring hug he has ever given me. Never did I ever feel more of his love for me. My mother followed suit right after. Being a new parent I could feel a glimpse of how their hearts must ache. Jason then came over and hugged me as well and never have I been so happy to have the brothers I have.

We drove back to J & Colleen's place and ate a great dinner made by Kathryn and Colleen; as always Ethan provided the entertainment. We then packed up drove to the ferries. At the newsstand I bought Myrtle a new book and read it to her on the ferry ride home.
I might have not gotten my way regarding benign tumor, but that doesn't mean God didn't hear me. It doesn't mean I'm not cared about. In fact I feel very comforted and I'm ridiculously optimistic about my future.


  1. Ruban we've been thinking about you and praying for you and Faith and Myrtle and all of your family at this hard time. I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Your positivity is inspiring. We hope and pray that the peace the Savior has to offer will be yours during this very trying time for you.

  2. Ruban Im so sorry you had to give us all the news that you did. Im not one to have many words at a time like this. Im proud to be your cousin, you inspire me to be a better and stronger person. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, Faith, and Myrtle. We all know you will be stronger than the cancer and you will kick its butt around the corner.

  3. I love you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. You're my favorite brother named Ruban.

  4. Ruban, I so sorry that the news was bad. You and your family continue to be in my prayers.

  5. I think Elaine summed it up well, u knw your enemy! Now fight it! I knw u will prevail, u are strong! We are thinking of u! Love Kip and Khrys.

  6. Sending love and hugs to you and your family.

  7. You and your whole family are in my prayers. Your strength and outlook is a testament to your character. I stumbled across a quote that I think reflects what you wrote in your last post ("Are you there God") very well... Most unfortunately everyone's prayers were not answered today, but God still has his hand on you and I'm confident that you will win this battle and be an even better person for having fought it.

    “I asked God for strength that I might achieve. I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health that I might do greater things. I was given infirmity that I might do better things. I asked for riches that I might be happy. I was given poverty that I might be wise. I asked for power that I might have the praise of men. I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. I was given life that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am, among all men, most richly blessed.”- Unknown Confederate soldier

  8. i needed the hug in the doctor's office as much as you did...thanks for being there for me and you know i will be there for you and your family.

  9. Ruban and Faith and Myrtle - So very sorry to hear of your journey detour. The good news is that it is treatable and hopefully before too long the detour will be over. Our prayers are with you, you are such a special little family.

  10. Ruban! I know what you mean by "I was at a cancer clinic after all"... it happened to my family member recently and every time we went to see Dr, i stayed super optimistic about diagnoses and biopsy results. Despite optimism, i realized that i was at a cancer clinic after all but please keep your optimistic spirits.. that's what is going to pull you through all these after all! Stay strong!

  11. I'm sorry to hear that, Ruban, but it is great to know that you have amazing family and friends that support you. I know you'll be strong, but when you're finding it especially hard, just remember how many people care about you and are praying for you (myself included).

  12. Our prayers are with each of you. And though it's hard to read that all of this is happening to your beautiful family, I find such comfort that no matter what, families are eternal! A sealing took place and nothing can part that! And the joy you have with your beautiful baby and wife is eternal~ I am blessed to know you, to feel your strength, to see your optimism, and to know in whom you place your trust! We love you guys, and our prayers are with you~

  13. Sorry to hear your news Rube... Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your little family!

  14. we love you. What a wonderful support group you have. We love your humour and optimism, and your little family. Faith is such a support and Myrtle... could you ever do wrong in her eyes?!

    Love you.

  15. Ruban, Faith and Myrtle We just wanted to let you know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Prayers and faith can work miracles.

  16. Ruban, it may sound weird but please know that others are truly being blessed as a result of your attitude and faith through this struggle. I am one of them. I am so glad that I know you.

  17. Didn't mean to sound like I didn't care on my FB comment today. it's hard to say things without knowing what you really mean. On the contrary I've been thinking about it all day. What it would be like if I or my husband got that diagnosis. you are amazing on how you are handling it. truly amazing. It has given me perspective hanging out with my family today. The Shaw's will keep you in our family prayers I will be staying tuned to hear how you are doing. take care! Oh and you are my favorite friend named Ruban!