They Say 'No New Is Good News'

Now when I talk to my doctor I quickly take notes afterwards, so not miss anything. Checking my voicemail today I found out I missed a call from my oncologist:

Dr. Wai is away, while she's gone an orthopedic doctor will be determining whether or not I require surgery on my fractured or broken hip - something I would like to avoid.

More waiting, but at least this waiting means that no news is good news.

There is some pain, though not so much I think surgery would be needed. My family doctor called today to go over what I pretty much already knew and to say that he too would be gone for a few weeks. Also, that I might want to stay away from straining my hip. *Mental note, cancel Jazzercize membership.

I've slowly learned there is no quick fix, magic cure or Santa Claus that will give what I want. Though I have heard the words "managing the cancer" before, it's beginning to sink in that's exactly what I will be doing until it or me is gone.

My brother Jason (J) has Type 1 Diabetes, it's something he has managed for over half his life. I don't think of him as a diabetic, he's just J - my brother. It's not what defines him. So I'll take my cue from J, manage my cancer by overall healthy living and dealing with it when needs be. Other then that, I Ruban (Rube), like J has, will continue on with my life.

How I am doing IS different than how my body is. Sure we're connected, my body and I, but it does not define me any more than my clothes do.

J might die a "premature" death because of diabetes, likewise I might too from cancer. Premature was put in quotations for two reasons 1) Modern medicine saved J's life and will prolong mine, if nature took its course that would make our deaths premature. And 2) When your times up, your times up - no matter what your plans are He might have better plans.

(If my nephews or nieces are reading this we'll live for at least thousand years more.)

Thank you for all the prayers, support and love. Really, thank you.

I'll keep this blog updated when ever there's something to update, but really I wish there was no cancer to write about. Like my doctors I too will take a break from my cancer.

Otherwise I'll continue to write in my much less popular blog about this and that rubanrebalkin.blogspot.com or in my even much, much, very much less popular blog about my literal dreams I happen to remember youwereinmydreamlastnight.blogspot.com.