A few weeks ago my oncologists office called for me to come in, I had about a twenty minute window. Recently I just had an x-ray done, so I was a tad worried it was related to that. Long story short they forgot to tell me I had an appointment.
It was a check-up and an opportunity for Dr. Wai begin my testing to see how the radiation treatment faired. After she was done poking and prodding me as far as her fingers could reach I went to give a blood sample.
One week ago Faith and Myrtle joined me as I had my last test, a CT Scan. Having them there provided so much comfort. Myrtle was very cheery and was angelic as she smiled and waved at staff and patients.
|Just Dad has the goofy smile.|
Myrtle's, Faith's and my life is hinged to great deal on the results. Having me think of anything else is like having a kid study on Christmas Eve, the anticipation is just too great. I'm just hoping I don't find coal in my stocking.
Faith and I have shed so many tears this year, but this week especially. We're not so much worried as we are just feeling the gravity of our situation.
All week I wish I was stronger somehow, more prepared emotionally to find out if I have a chance to beat a 3-5 year life expectancy.
I think I can grasp why the divorce rate is higher with a spouse with cancer or a terminal illness (Just ask Newt Gingrich's ex-wife). However, if a couple is on the same page their challenges can bring the best out in each other. Faith has easily risen to the challenges this year. Because of Faith stepping up to it all Myrtle and I are in better company today and sometimes I'd like to think they are too with me.
Perhaps every weakness in ourselves and our marriage has been exposed this past year (which has been a very good thing). Our core values have shifted tremendously as we've shed the unwanted pounds of worldly fat. Things like keeping up with the Jones' ...or worse yet, the Kardashian's. Really anything that doesn't unify us as a family we're not interested in.
It's not that I don't n̶e̶e̶d̶ want an iPad2 this Christmas, I just want 70 more Christmases much more. I'm holding out for the iPad70.
I called my oncologist this morning and she's in clinic until the afternoon, then my call was directed to a nurse who could answer my question. Of course the nurse wasn't there and I left a message with someone.
Long story short my results are back and that tumor is still there - same kiwi size and all.
I do not know what the future holds. I do not know the treatment.
I do know Myrtle is telling me "Off!" to get up and play with her.
My sister-in-law Colleen who made me that fantastic quilt for me (click here to see http://ahiptumor.blogspot.com/2011/05/soldiering-on.html) is doing something else, http://www.conquercancer.ca/site/TR?px=2857009&fr_id=1413&pg=personal, if it's something that interests you, please support the the cause.
A prayer would be nice too.
Onward and upward.
Onward and upward.