Soldiering On

Tired, very tired. Each appointment I'm asked how I'm feeling and today I said "I just feel ...lazy". Hannah was very clear at helping me understand that being tired is to be expected. Sleeping 12 hours and taking naps are helpful for my body to heal; as my body is expending its energy resources to heal. Today's treatment certainly is being felt in discomfort and low energy.

I decided that if we're driving all the way downtown as a family everyday to help me live so we can be a family, why not do a family activity afterwards if we're able to. So I packed some grain for us to feed the ducks. Myrtle loved it. I loved being a family.

We took a different route home as there was a package waiting for me at the Greyhound terminal. Passing Planet Organic grocery I decided to pop in to pick up a few items. The cashier girls were asking questions why I was on crutches, which lead to them asking how I found out I had cancer. They would have no way of knowing how tired I was and wanting to go as anonymously as I came in. So tired I kept on forgetting my debit cards pin and they just kept talking. Girls shouldn't be chatting men with shaved heads and tattoos. Then I hear "Hi Ruban." Finally someone I would like to talk about how life is going to but, my body was saying "Leave! Go! And sit down." I hope my friend understands I wasn't up for chatting.

Faith went into to Greyhound to pick up the package, this time I stayed in the car with Myrtle. It was from my sister-in-law Colleen.

Colleen and I have been friends since I was 12 years old and she was 15 dating my brother Jason. One day it was just the two of us at home and for some reason we went through all the spices and smelled them; we've been friends ever since. Later Colleen rented a room at our home, there we planted a garden. Other fond memories have been seeing concerts and the time I gave her a bloody nose. Maybe about 1993 there was a Sting music video playing, Fields of Gold, and I wanted to change the channel and she did not. We wrestled and somehow I fell on her head giving Colleen her first bleeding nose.

Faith and I thought that maybe Colleen mailed something for Myrtle or stuff we might have left behind when we were staying at their place when I was seeing an oncologist in Vancouver.

Opening the package when I got home and found a letter from Colleen. I scanned it, you should be able to double click on it below to get to be big enough to read.

Inside the box was a quilt she made for me. It's perfect.

Honestly I wept, I was and am over joyed. I understand it was a gift truly made with love for her brother in need. I'm sure no one more than Colleen and Jason want me to get better, they are after all have agreed to raise Myrtle should Faith and I pass away.  Clearly we made a fine choice for Myrtle.

I grew up with blankets and quilts my Grandma Myrtle made and afghan's my Grandma Hazel made. So I was honoured to remove the Made In China blanket on our bed with quilt that was made with love in Canada for me.

A quilt is something that helps transform a house into a home and there's no such thing as too many. Maybe I got to start quilting and knitting. While blogging Myrtle woke from a nap and I showed her the quilt. She loved it too, pointing at all the squares and saying "Oh!"

My exhaustion coming home was replaced with new hope and courage to soldier on. Thank you Colleen.

RUBAN Soldier On ♥ COLLEEN MAY 2011

Lifes a Trip. 

For you Colleen...